going home

I'm done, I'm coming home. No more partying , no more rediculous spending, that's it.

After I made the decision to come home, i saw the most horrible thing happen. I was on the skytrain and saw two junkies get into a full on fist fight over a chocolate bar. It was happening in the same section i was sitting in. It was terrifying. The whole time i couldnt help thinking that things like this dont happen in baden. I'm excited to be home and be safe, and never really have to be alone.

I hate being alone. My roommate is always gone, i live in a pretty sketchy area and it's scary.

I'm happy to be going back to what was once my life. It isnt anymore, but it will be again. I'm going home different but i hope that i will blend in. I dont want to stand out. I dont want the things i've done making me different than anyone else. I want to go back to being a student, living with my parents and never dealing with obsured obsessions and situations that i've been a part of for the last little while. I just want to be who i was before. I want to be me again. well, a more improved version of me. Since i've been here i've broken out of my shell. i dont want to be called snobby though. I'm not, i dont think im better than anyone else, i've just had the life experiences. It doesnt make me better, just more open. things change a person. and i hope it's for the better.

I'm coming home i have no idea what im going to do. i suppose i will figure it out. It's funny, my last blog was all about leaving too. But i never did. I cried for a week everytime i thought about leaving, and while our house was being packed up i basically lost it. I wasnt ready to leave. And maybe im not now. But it's for the best. I had my last little push for freedom, But im not ready, I can't deal with living as a grown up. In 25 days i will make that leap. the one back into the familiar. Away from everything that i've known for the last year and a half.

well. I suppose i've said all that i have to say. i'm going to the gym. and to get rent money and groceries.

Vancouver not a memory yet...

Okay, here goes attempt number three to write this post. Due to unforeseeable circumstances my two previous tries were unsuccessful. So it's been about a year since I last posted! It feels like it was just yesterday seriously I can't even believe how fast the last year has gone by. Around this time last year i was just beginning to finally settle in here and get used to the city. This year, I'm trying to live up the last few months I have left here. I am going to miss this city like crazy. However in the winter when it rains for 7 months straight, I will be glad to have the sunny cold instead. Right now though, the city is incredible. I don't know of anywhere you can go swimming in the ocean and look into the distance and see the snowcapped mountains. I think it's amazing that this is where I live. In most of this country you have to go on vacation to go to the mountains and the ocean. I only have to hop on a bus and I can be laying on the beach listening to the waves in 15 minutes. I already miss it here.

I suppose that it will be a good thing for me to go home, finish school, save some money. I am looking forward to it. I'll get to see some old friends and hang out with my family. I dont know for sure that I'm looking forward to living in baden :s but what can you do? I just can't believe that I'm making (for the foreseeable future) a permanent move back to Ontario I'm sure I'll be back out here in no time...well hopefully! Anyway it's about 2 1/2 months until I'm home for good...weird.

Well, I'm off to make the most of the time I have left here...Adventure Night here I come!