going home

I'm done, I'm coming home. No more partying , no more rediculous spending, that's it.

After I made the decision to come home, i saw the most horrible thing happen. I was on the skytrain and saw two junkies get into a full on fist fight over a chocolate bar. It was happening in the same section i was sitting in. It was terrifying. The whole time i couldnt help thinking that things like this dont happen in baden. I'm excited to be home and be safe, and never really have to be alone.

I hate being alone. My roommate is always gone, i live in a pretty sketchy area and it's scary.

I'm happy to be going back to what was once my life. It isnt anymore, but it will be again. I'm going home different but i hope that i will blend in. I dont want to stand out. I dont want the things i've done making me different than anyone else. I want to go back to being a student, living with my parents and never dealing with obsured obsessions and situations that i've been a part of for the last little while. I just want to be who i was before. I want to be me again. well, a more improved version of me. Since i've been here i've broken out of my shell. i dont want to be called snobby though. I'm not, i dont think im better than anyone else, i've just had the life experiences. It doesnt make me better, just more open. things change a person. and i hope it's for the better.

I'm coming home i have no idea what im going to do. i suppose i will figure it out. It's funny, my last blog was all about leaving too. But i never did. I cried for a week everytime i thought about leaving, and while our house was being packed up i basically lost it. I wasnt ready to leave. And maybe im not now. But it's for the best. I had my last little push for freedom, But im not ready, I can't deal with living as a grown up. In 25 days i will make that leap. the one back into the familiar. Away from everything that i've known for the last year and a half.

well. I suppose i've said all that i have to say. i'm going to the gym. and to get rent money and groceries.